I came to the realization last night as I was rolling around in bed trying to get comfortable, that in the long run, the fact that I don't have a social life any more does not matter. Think about it, how many of the so-called "friends" you hang around with in high school are you actually going to remember? You people who I see every week day are just blips on the time line of my life. What difference does it make if I never go out any more? After high school I'm going to college where I'll meet new people, and after I graduate from there and go into the working world, I'll meet new people again. That whole "Best Friends Forever" crap, is exactly that. Crap.
Why don't you be a tad more cynical, hmm?
Yes, Vladimir. Because you're the exact person I need telling me I'm cynical. And you know what? I don't think there's anything cynical about this. It's called truth. How many of your friends do you remember from high school?
Oh yeah.
Regardless, It struck me last night that none of us matter. Not even just in the social aspect, but period. We have no purpose. We're born, we do things, we die. Humans are fickle; we can forget old friends and make new ones in a matter of days. We can go from having a perfectly thought-out plan for our lives to having all of it fall to pieces. We can be happy one minute, and sad the next. And then happy all over again. God must be laughing pretty damn hard at what humanity has evolved into.
If you're suddenly so content to be a hermit for the rest of your life, then why are your hands glued to your keyboard 24/7?
Because I'm a stupid human too. But I'd rather be dropped by random people in the cyber universe than real people.
I don't even know if that relates to what I just said.
God, I've even stooped to creating imaginary gay boys to keep my company through blogs when no one else seems to talk to me. But I'm willing to bet that I won't even remember them in the future. So it seems as though they don't matter either. Does anything matter any more? Does any thing have value? If something is deemed useless or even boring, it's thrown away. It doesn't matter.
Nothing really seems to matter to us anymore.
All of this internal thinking and whatnot has led me to this one question that for the life of me I can't answer. Do I serve any kind of purpose? Do I have any sort of reason to be here? Is there a reason that I was put on this earth? I'll be forgotten over and over again as I get older, and I'll forget people too. So why the hell are we here?
Open for discussion. I'm genuinely curious about what you people think.
I don't see a coconut in this post.
ReplyDeleteAnyways.
I agree with you on most of the things on here, but, I don't think people can forget each other. In all honesty, it's hard to forget someone you called a 'friend' before, and saying that you've forgot someone is just a façade.
My mum sits and talks about all of her friends she had in high school, and when I ask her why she doesn't find them on facebook she says 'its because I don't have anything to say'.
And that's why we move on, because we 'dont have anything to say'.
I know from experience that it's easy to fall out of contact with people because you feel this feeling and this voice says 'shitshitshit what do I say now' and all that can come out is silence for fear of being viewed as an idiot by someone who you held near and dear. And this feeling stems from the realization that people change. A joke you told before might not make them laugh anymore, or they might have moved on to something else, and when it comes down to it, deciphering a person's ever-changing interests is like trying to read moonspeak.
But err I guess that really didn't make any sense...
But now I feel bad for not hanging out with you more or talking to some of my old friends who I have the ability to still talk to.
Oh, and by the way, my gay boys are more faaaabulouuuuus than yours.
ReplyDeleteOhohohoho~
Jk jk
I don't really know much about your gay boys, sooooo.... aha.
ReplyDeleteI dunno man. I get what you're saying. I just feel like I've fallen into a rut and whatever purpose I might have had is used up. And I feel like whenever I bring it up I'm just being annoying. So it's easier to keep my mouth shut and let people do what they want.
Nobody really knows about my OCs, I keep them to myself. In my head. For some reason or another.
ReplyDeleteI totally went through that last year. I felt like nobody wanted me, since nobody would listen. They were all preoccupied with the deliberate task of ignoring me.
But...I just want to let you know, I'm always here to listen to you. Since I already listen to everyone else. Haha.
Even the most stoic people need to confide sometimes.
I guess the entire point of this was to express that I'm tired of being cooped up in my house with nobody to talk to. I feel like I'm going to explode.
ReplyDeleteBut I don't want to be a bother, either.
You should put them out there. I desire to know more about their fabulous ways.
Well I'm sorry about that. :c
ReplyDeleteAnd no need to feel so self-concious about being a bother. As long as you don't go up somebody and say 'hey my name is depression and I'm going to share my feelings with you constantly', you won't be a bother.
I think I'm going to write short stories about them.
I used to do that though. So it's like. I can't ever express that something's wrong at this point.
ReplyDeleteI guess I've finally reached my breaking point.
I would read them.
Everyone does at some point.
ReplyDeleteSweet.
What does it matter?
ReplyDeleteThat's the million dollar question.
The answer isn't the one you want. You have to learn it for yourself. I can't say I know the answer, but I have a working estimate, and it's just enough.