Sigh. I really need to post in this more.

I really don't know what I'm here to write about. All I know is that I want to write. And I want to write a lot. So, consider this your warning; lots of letters are ahead. There will be a summary at the end for all you lazy people.

I guess for starters I'll talk about the latest happenings of my personal life. I really don't know or care if you people want to know this, but I know that I want to write about it. As said before, skip down to the end if you want.
I got a new boyfriend. He's pretty wonderful. And for all you people who disapprove for whatever reason, he's nice to me, and if that doesn't count for something then you people don't have souls. He's kind of a dork. ...Okay, he's a huge dork. But he treats me with respect. And he fixed my computer. I feel like I'm talking to a wall, though, when he gets into programming mode. And it's even worse when he gets in Pokemon mode and he starts texting me a play-by-play of all his battles... He's very proud of his team. :1 But I really can't complain much. My parents approve, which is kind of a new thing for me. I can't remember the last time they approved of one of my boyfriends...
I've gotten completely sucked into Rune Factory 3 as of late. I do not care how late I am on this. Anyway holy crap this game is hard. At least for me. See, I'm stuck at the part where you're supposed to beat the skeleton dragon monster thing in the desert. I freaking hate that thing; no matter how many times I go back and train to try to go up a couple of levels, the stupid thing always kicks my butt. It's not fair. I know who I want to marry and everything; Raven is finally up to ten hearts. But nobody told me I have to beat this thing before I could ask her to marry me! D:<
I left my church a couple of weeks ago. Apparently wearing an Ozzy Osborne t-shirt and saying "hell" in a status is constitution for ridicule, and said persons are not worthy to serve in a baptist church. Bah, I refuse to be a part of something that focuses on appearance. And furthermore, nowhere in the bible does it say that man can't use words that man has decided are bad. All it says is not to take the Lord's name in vain. And everybody who harped on me for saying "what the hell" in a status are the same people who are all "OHMYGOD" all over everywhere. In other words, I reject the baptist doctrine and the whole of Point Peter Baptist Church. Suck my foot, jerks. >:1

What else is there to talk about...
I drew a picture of Reginald and Vladimir in school the other day. Except it was different from my other drawings of these two; I drew them when they were younger, just after they had first met. They met when Reginald was 18 and still in private school in London. Vlad is 20, and he had just moved to London to study music. It's really cute to me because Reginald at this point in his life is a total dork who lives in fear of any and all people due to being bullied for being gay. He still has his natural, shoulder-length brown curly hair, and his big dorky glasses. Vladimir has bright red hair at this point in his life, and it hangs just below his chest. In the picture Vladimir, who is considerably taller than Reginald, is kissing Reginald very angrily, and Reginald is all "whatt??"
I know what you're thinking; Reginald is supposed to be the man, right? He is. Despite Vladimir's tough and collected exterior, he's a total wimp. Reginald comes out of his shell considerably once he and Vlad begin dating officially. After three years with the guy, one has to cope somehow. And so we get modern Reginald; crazy hair, contacts, and a manly beard. And he's much more flamboyant now...

Now I want to talk about music. I think I'll just post some lines from some songs that I really really like, and talk about them. And stuff. Because that's what you do when you blog.
Here's the first one:

My flower
Withered between
The pages two and three
The once and forever bloom gone with my sins

Walk the dark path
Sleep with angels
Call the past for help
Touch me with your love
And reveal to me my true name

So this one's not really that hard to interpret, but I still really like it because... I dunno it's just pretty. I mean, the message is clearly something along the lines of "I messed up; I want to go back to the way things were; I need your help; etc etc etc," but it's worded so beautifully. Of course, I could be dead wrong. Nightwish tends to write songs that make you think one thing, but secretly you're supposed to get something completely different out of it. While I'm on this, for those of you who don't know, this is the second verse to Nightwish's Nemo. 

Here's another song:

"Where have all the feelings gone?
Why is the deadliest sin - to love as I loved you?
Now unblessed, homesick in time,
Soon to be freed from care, from human pain.
My tale is the most bitter truth:
Time pays us but with earth and dust, and a dark, silent grave.
Remember, my child: Without innocence the cross is only iron,
Hope is only an illusion and Ocean Soul's nothing but a name...

The Child bless thee and keep thee forever"

This is a piece of another Nightwish song; it's the ending to Bless the Child. When I went to look up these lyrics, (since I didn't feel like typing them in) I accidentally read some of the comments underneath the words. I normally try really hard not to do this, because I want to interpret the song for myself. Unfortunately, this time, curiosity took over, and I read some of what people were saying. Apparently the whole "return to innocence" thing is a recurring theme in Nightwish songs. This particular song, however, expresses this theme in a much darker way. When I first heard the song, it really spoke to me. And I guess now I understand why I little better. That being said, this should be as easy to understand as the first song. 

Here's the last one:

Rocking chair without a dreamer
A wooden swing without laughter?
Sandbox without toy soldiers
Yuletide without the Flight

Dreambound for life

One more Nightwish song, but this song was written much much much later than the first two. This one was performed by the second Nightwish singer. But even with a completely different singer, the popular theme of Nightwish music is there. This is probably my most favorite Nightwish song. It's so beautifully written; instead of being extremely dark or sad, it's just... pretty. And for some reason this part of the song had always stuck out to me the most. It's really not the same, though, without all the words, but I felt like that would take up too much room, so I only copied my favorite part. This song is called Meadows of Heaven, it makes me cry every time I listen to it, and I strongly suggest you go listen to it. It will give you goosebumps. 

How about some super current events?

My cat has officially been labeled the Gay Princess Kitty, and he is asleep at the foot of my bed. Don't get me wrong, though; I love Romulus to death. He really is a sweet cat~ When he's not being a creeper that is..

I can hear my brother messing around on his drum set across the loft. I wonder how his kitten feels about that... Poor Tattoo. :1

My oh-so-loving boyfriend is being a butthead and not replying to my texts. My mom just walked in to ask me a question. I ran out of things to munch on during my late nights of Netflix. And Romulus just woke up. 

And that's my night as of right now. 

Hmm. I think I'm pretty much done. But I guess I owe you lazy people a summary.

TL;DR: My life is boring, my OCs are pretty, songs are awesome, and my cat is a diva. 

Who knows when I'll get on here again. I don't do this nearly as often as I should. But for now, enjoy this little bit of my life. 

I haven't posted a coconut picture in a while, so I guess I owe you guys one. Here goes...

 

Okay. You know what? Here's how it's gonna be.

I don't care if you people are tired of my "drama."
Don't read about it if you don't want a part of it.
But as of right now, I will NOT be your bitching post. I flatly refuse to be the one person who has to carry around everybody elses' problems, and never get any help with my own. If you don't wanna here about me, fine, I won't tell you. But don't you dare come to me for anything.
I live for myself.
I do what I want, based on what I think is right. I don't care if you don't agree with me. You can go right ahead and disagree. That's not going to change what I do.
You can call me a bitch. You'd be right. But I'd rather be a bitch than be the universal bitching post. At least I can think for myself.
Which is more than can be said for 99% of you people.

There. Rant over. Have a nice day.

I had an epiphany last night.

I came to the realization last night as I was rolling around in bed trying to get comfortable, that in the long run, the fact that I don't have a social life any more does not matter. Think about it, how many of the so-called "friends" you hang around with in high school are you actually going to remember? You people who I see every week day are just blips on the time line of my life. What difference does it make if I never go out any more? After high school I'm going to college where I'll meet new people, and after I graduate from there and go into the working world, I'll meet new people again. That whole "Best Friends Forever" crap, is exactly that. Crap.

Why don't you be a tad more cynical, hmm?

Yes, Vladimir. Because you're the exact person I need telling me I'm cynical. And you know what? I don't think there's anything cynical about this. It's called truth. How many of your friends do you remember from high school?

I never went to high school. I came into being at 23 years old.

Oh yeah. 
Regardless, It struck me last night that none of us matter. Not even just in the social aspect, but period. We have no purpose. We're born, we do things, we die. Humans are fickle; we can forget old friends and make new ones in a matter of days. We can go from having a perfectly thought-out plan for our lives to having all of it fall to pieces. We can be happy one minute, and sad the next. And then happy all over again. God must be laughing pretty damn hard at what humanity has evolved into. 

If you're suddenly so content to be a hermit for the rest of your life, then why are your hands glued to your keyboard 24/7? 

Because I'm a stupid human too. But I'd rather be dropped by random people in the cyber universe than real people. 
I don't even know if that relates to what I just said. 
God, I've even stooped to creating imaginary gay boys to keep my company through blogs when no one else seems to talk to me. But I'm willing to bet that I won't even remember them in the future. So it seems as though they don't matter either. Does anything matter any more? Does any thing have value? If something is deemed useless or even boring, it's thrown away. It doesn't matter. 
Nothing really seems to matter to us anymore. 

All of this internal thinking and whatnot has led me to this one question that for the life of me I can't answer. Do I serve any kind of purpose? Do I have any sort of reason to be here? Is there a reason that I was put on this earth? I'll be forgotten over and over again as I get older, and I'll forget people too. So why the hell are we here?

Open for discussion. I'm genuinely curious about what you people think. 

Do you or don't you? That's right; I'm ranting about... you guessed it, LOVE.

So.
There's this boy.
I don't know what I see in him. But obviously I see something, because I can't bring myself to let him go.
He says we're still close even though the breakup was pretty crappy. He says I'm one of the few people he considers his actual friends. I'm trying to be that; the friend. Because that's what he needs. You know, when the whore new girlfriend cheats on him with some jerk she met at camp.
Who does that?
It's tearing him apart.
Like he'll ever admit to that.
Is it wrong of me to wonder, though, if I ever had that kind of impact on him? I'm thinking not, but... I'd feel like a loser if I asked. So I guess I'll just continue to wonder.
Why do I even care?
I shouldn't.
But I do.
Gah, I'm such a moron.

COCONUT TEIM

I think I'll talk about some recent happenings.

Because I can.

So the other fay we were in the car riding to school. Me, my mom, my brother, and this guy Nick who I've been taking to school since like the beginning of the year. My brother Trey and I wound up getting in a fight in the car. There was lots of yelling and punching and birds.
That's right. Birds.
Anyway my mom yelled at us and we all got out of the car at our respective schools angry with each other. Except Nick. He has his music in his ears. I really don't think he knew what the bloody hell we were doing. That's pretty typical for him.
Anyway I went to school and did my school thing like I always did, only angry this time. After first block I was walking down the hallway talking to a friend about the angst of the morning car ride, and about half-way down the main hallway I see my mother standing in front of the Student Services Offices. I was like "Really? Are you really this mad at me?" only I didn't say that out loud. She grabbed my arm, pulled me into the office, shoved a form in my face, and told me to sign it. Fearing death, I of course signed my name. Once my signature was on the bottom of the page, I asked her what it was for.
Apparently, my mother had bought me a parking sticker.
Awesome, I can park on campus now.
I should fight with Trey more often.

NEXT EVENT

I have discovered that my favorite modern pop [derp I guess] song is Firework by Katy Perry. I don't know why KP fans are all "nuuuuu it's suuuucksssss" it totally doesn't. It's one of the few modern songs that's actually motivational. Seriously people, listen to the stuff people are recording now. It's like emo is the new "in" thing to write about. Every song they ever play on the radio ever is about how your girlfriend cheated on you or your boyfriend broke up with you or some crap. At least this song is about something happy, and for the love of God it's NOT ABOUT LOVE. Not ONCE in that song does she talk about some stupid relationship.
Thank you, Katy Perry, for being an original.
We appreciate you.

MOVING ON

the Game

ALSO

What would you, the few readers of this blog, [which is secretly like no one] do if the guy you've liked forever despite all conceivable reason to hate him, calls you over, asks you for advice about his girlfriend, then tells you all he really wanted was an excuse to talk to you?
That's right, I'm gonna talk about guys now.
In some round about way, he tells you he misses you, and you believe him. He breaks up with his current girlfriend IN FRONT OF YOU. Then he get's all quiet and says that you two should try being friends first. You agree; it makes sense. Take things slow, you know? Whatever all that.
Then after you leave he calls his girlfriend, and BAM they're back together.
Kill him, y/y?
I hate men.

WHICH BRINGS US TO

This post's picture of a huge coconut.

Nica told me to blog.

So I am blogging.
Bam.

AAAAOOOOOOOAAAA

BIRDS

Moving on.
I found my prom dress last night. It's a floor-length Victorian-style ball gown. And it's RED. I love red. It's like... well, here's a link: http://www.milanoo.com/Dark-Red-Bow-Ruffles-Cotton-Classic-Lolita-Dress-p34039.html
I loves it. And it's sooo cheaappppp... And hand madeeeeee. I'm so excited. I hope I haven't missed too much school, though, cause then I can't go period... And that would make me sad.

So my friends and I are creating a web comic called "Duck, Duck, GOOOOOSSEEEEEE" and it's amazing. It's about these people who get sent back in time to some sort of mythological period by a hobo terrorist wizard derp, and they have all sorts of adventures. My characters are, as you all know, Reginald and Vladimir. Reginald goes back in time and becomes the God of Rainbows and Sparkles, and Vladimir becomes a sexy Russian centaur. It makes me happy inside. Gillian is writing it, Monique is drawing it, Allison is inking it, and I get to color it. I'll start posting pages as we finish them.

On yet another note. Monique is in my living room as I type this. And we are watching Raising Arizona. And making Yard Sale signs. It's amusing. And I love this movie. And Trey is talking about his Ozzy tickets. And Mother is in her chair, rocking. And Romulus is watching me from the table like a creeper. I kinda wanna throw something at him. But I won't. Mostly because I don't have anything to throw.

Why am I still typing.
Time for this week's picture: